Here, he meets (dubbed by a valley girl).
The leader, (dubbed by a man doing a terrible Sean Connery impression), holds the Dragon Saber. the evil cult english dub
"Victory is mine!"
Opening Crawl (Read by a bored voice actor named Steve): "Long ago, in China... or, a place like China... there was a sword. And a saber. If you get both, you get ultimate power. Also, there is a cult. They are evil. Do not join them." Act I: The Temple of Eternal Punching Here, he meets (dubbed by a valley girl)
"Oh my god, like, are you the chosen one? I can tell by your, like, aura or whatever. Wanna learn a forbidden technique that will definitely give you a nosebleed?" or, a place like China
"You have saved the land... for now. But remember... the true treasure... was the bad lip-syncing you heard along the way."
The film opens in the . Monks are practicing kung fu in slow motion. A gong sounds.