Expecting your spouse to read your mind, meet your every emotional need, and never disappoint you is a recipe for resentment. Instead, hold yourself to a high standard (kindness, honesty, effort) and extend your spouse grace when they fall short.
But after a decade of marriage—through job losses, sleepless newborn nights, a global pandemic in close quarters, and the slow, unglamorous work of becoming two different people than the ones who said “I do”—I’ve realized something counterintuitive: the perfect marriage
I thought if my marriage was “right,” we wouldn’t fight. I thought we’d always want the same things at the same time. I thought love alone would smooth over every crack before it became a canyon. Expecting your spouse to read your mind, meet
Marriage is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. Humor is the lubricant that keeps the engine from seizing up. So here’s my revised definition: I thought we’d always want the same things
I used to believe in that myth too.
It’s choosing the same person over and over—even on the days when they annoy you, even on the days when you feel distant, even on the days when “love” feels more like a verb than a feeling.
And honestly? That’s so much better. What’s one thing you’ve learned about marriage that no one told you before you said “I do”? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to learn from you too.
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